For David Kaplan, one of the best things about being a marriage-family counselor is having the opportunity to help an entire family, rather than just one individual. But by the same token, Kaplan says that also presents one of his greatest challenges.
"Things get complicated when more than one individual is in your office," says Kaplan. "That is one reason why many counselors shy away from marriage and family counseling, so that they can stick to the safety of individual counseling."
Kaplan says the complexity of his task increases with each additional family member who is involved in a counseling session.
"When an entire family is present, it can be a little bit like getting caught in an undertow. Dealing with this is a challenge and results in a great feeling of accomplishment when handled correctly," says Kaplan.
Nina Evans-Locke is a registered clinical counselor. She believes the most challenging part of the profession for her is "making sure you are open to new ideas of therapy, ways of seeing and working with clients."
Locke also advises those who plan on entering the counseling profession to "be aware of your own family issues and make sure you've done work on those."
Anita Brown is a counselor. She says students who plan on being counselors also need to learn not to take situations personally. She says you have to remember that although you may want to help everyone, "people still have to learn to help themselves, as well."
She says it's rewarding to help people help themselves with their own lives, families and relationships. "You have to have a love of people and you have to have a lot of patience," says Brown. "You also have to have a lot of compassion, and you must learn you can't fix everyone's problems for them."
Kaplan was driven to the counseling profession because of his childhood. "I was not happy as a child, and I needed to find out if my feelings of craziness were because of me or my family." Through counseling classes, Kaplan says he discovered it was a little bit of both.
For Brown, a typical week usually runs about six or seven hours per day, Monday through Friday. Locke agrees that seven hours per day would be close to the average number of hours that most counselors practice.
Counseling sessions can sometimes produce unexpected events for which the counselor must be prepared. Kaplan recalls one particularly unusual session.
"A mother jumped up during a family session and screamed, 'You are trying to take God away from me!' and tried to run out of the office before her family stopped her," he says, adding that it wasn't a "run of the mill" session.
For Brown, there are rewarding moments that especially warm her heart. "You begin to see a marriage come back together. The couple starts to work out their problem instead of seeking a divorce."
Brown says there is satisfaction in watching that transformation. Often, by the time the couple comes to her for assistance, "the marriage is ready to disintegrate."
Brown warns that if students go into the counseling profession, they can't be a people-pleaser all the time. "The profession is very challenging. Be aware that people come to you with all their problems and you can't just fix it. You must help the client empower themselves," she says.
Her advice? "Give them the tools and understanding they need to fix the difficulties they're experiencing."
Locke calls marriage and family counseling a very inspiring profession. "When you help others find a way to overcome difficulties and to thrive, it's a very meaningful experience."
Would Kaplan encourage students to go into this career? "Absolutely! Counselors consistently come out near the top end of polls measuring occupational satisfaction," he says. "It is challenging and rewarding work, and you will end up finding out a lot about yourself and your family."