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Real-Life Decision Making -- Solution

You refer her to someone who will explain the policy.

The woman leaves your office feeling hurt and alienated. She feels she is being treated unfairly because she has a non-Jewish spouse.

She and her husband start to feel cut off from the congregation. They become less involved. The following year, they don't renew their dues.

The congregation has lost a family. Your insensitive response to her request is the reason.

"Rather than simply saying, 'Well, talk to so-and-so, he'll tell you the answer,'" says rabbi Moshe Saks, "the rabbi has to take the lead and say, 'Look, this is the policy of the congregation, and these are the reasons.'"


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